Stick Shift and Panic Attacks!!!

So I am writing 2 days in a row, I know what you are thinking, "she is going to burn out" but I will try to stay strong.  I also apologize for my totally incorrect coma use, I use them whenever I feel like it, not so much based on correct writing rules.
When I left off we were running through the Venice airport trying to make up time for oversleeping.  We got our rental car with no major problems and ran to our car, all this running now seems a little unnecessary but was very dramatic and important at the time.  When I was reserving a rental car I confirmed with John that he could drive a stick, they are about $200 cheaper than automatics so you could see why I was leaning towards the manual.  He never actually owned a car with manual transmission but had learned the basics along the way and said we would be fine.  I on the other hand have no experience with a stick so I was betting he wouldn't become incapacitated and I would have to drive.  We get to our cute little Fiat, throw in our bags and prepare to take off.  John puts the car in drive and off we go, by go I mean we slammed forward but didn't actually drive off anywhere.  Basically it was like we went head first in to wall but there was nothing in front of us.  No one panic lets try this again and again and again, OK now we are panicking.  Thank goodness no one was parked in front of our car.  So I suggest maybe he needs to do something with the clutch, though I have no clue what.  He agrees and after pushing in the clutch off we go.  I am trying to work the GPS and John is screaming about where he should be going and this sets the tone for most of our road trip through Italy.  If you are fluent with a manual than by all means you will have a smooth road trip through Italy, otherwise, get an automatic.  Everyone there drives a stick so it isn't a big deal to them to get close to other cars, make frequent stops, or go uphill, for us all of these things proved very challenging.  We had a plan to drive to Cinque Terre, which is the opposite coast of Italy, and along the way stop in Parma or Bologna for lunch.  As both of these names indicate they are home to some delicious food.  We get to Bologna around lunch time with no major issues and had a smooth ride on the interstate.  There was beautiful weather, scenery, and our IPod music bumpin.  As soon as we get off the interstate in Bologna we realize we have made a huge mistake.  Keep in mind along the way John has informed me that he is not good at stopping and starting and if we come to a stop on a hill we are screwed.  So as we enter Bologna and are following the GPS to our lunch destination we realize it will be one stop light after another, very bad.  We kill the engine so many times John informs me that he thinks we were burning out the clutch, who knew that could happen so fast.  We received many honks and angry looks but I was more concerned about John's face of panic every time someone would get to close to the back of us and then we would kill it and have to start again.  The place we were going to eat at happened to be down a small hill so we were going to have to improvise on the parking.  We ended up parking in front of a small fruit stand just off the road and the bystanders gave us some strange looks but we decided to just go with it, we only had an hour to eat.  After walking on foot for 10 minutes looking for the restaurant, we got it in our sites but realized there was no way we would have time to eat and get to our hotel by 5 and had to abandon ship.  I felt like those people that climb 95% of Mt. Everest and have to turn back because of weather.  We are still slightly bummed about this part of the trip but it was the cost of over sleeping.  Back in the car we go and we just needed to reverse out of our spot and hit the road, we would worry about food later.  Panic Attack #2, reversing.  After several attempts to get the car in reverse we had yet to go backwards.  We were also attempting to back up in to a busy street so this only added to the panic with each attempt.  I told John that I had heard my mom say to my sister when she was learning to drive a stick how it can be tricky getting the car in to the R gear so even though he had given up hope and thought we would be spending the night in our car in front of the fruit stand, he gave it another try.  Sure enough we were off, if we got killed in oncoming traffic it didn't matter we were going.  I can only imagine what that fruit stand owner was thinking.  We were both annoyed we had wasted 45 minutes in a town that wasn't made for our driving and getting out wasn't going to be easy.  John was terrified we were going to have to go uphill to get out of the city but God worked a miracle and we made it out of there alive.  So was our life in the car, on the highways we were smooth sailing and happy, in the cities we were sweating and screaming. 
We decided due to time and driving constraints to get lunch at this gas station type place they have all along the highways, it was not impressive but it did the trick.  Ordering was a challenge because this place is in the middle of no where and English isn't their forte.  They did pump our gas for us which was good since we had no clue how to even open the tank.  Italy does have beautiful countryside and I would drive through it for weeks, in an automatic of course. 
So we make it to Cinque Terre 30 minutes before our check in time and drive down a huge hill on a one lane street to the check in office.  The hotel directions said to do this but they acted surprised that we had driven in and told us we had to move right away.  One problem, the hill, I informed the desk clerk that there was no way my husband was getting that car up that hill and so she had her assistant drive the car up, another miracle.  I will tell you all about Cinque Terre in the next post but I am going to skip ahead to our next part of the road trip.  It is making my stomach hurt just talking about it again.  I can't tell you how many times in the car John would say "we are screwed, we are never getting out of here."
Our car is parked at the top of the hill but in a small garage in a tight space that we have to navigate out of and then we get to a gate that only residents can open so we have to wait for someone to open the gate for us.  A nice lady comes and opens the gate for us but of course we killed the car so then she comes to our window wondering why we didn't go.  She gives us a very annoyed second chance and we manage to take off.  So begins the screaming and stress of navigating when John won't stop the car.  This means that I have to tell him where to go way ahead of time without actually having a clue.  Stop signs mean nothing to us because we avoid stopping at all costs.  We had several stops planned between Cinque Terre and Rome but I had already decided that list was going to have to be scaled way back, based on our driving limitations and time.  I knew there was no way we were going to get close to Florence with our no stopping or hills restriction so Florence was abandoned, which we probably wouldn't have had time for anyway.  Our first stop was Pisa, which is a smaller town so slightly less stressful.  I will talk of my love for Pisa and Tuscany in another post.  Then we head towards the small country roads of Tuscany.  It was definitely less stressful than the cities but had several near death moments.  We chose our stops based on level parking spots we could get in and out of and lack of hills. 
The final stop we were going to make before Rome was in Siena. We get off the interstate and realize that Siena is in one of these awful places called cities. You know with all the stop lights and traffic. To make matter worse the city center is on a large hill, you guessed it we had to abandon ship. John hated to disappointment me but he said this was not going to work. My stomach by this point is so upset from all the car panic attacks that I was more than happy to skip it. The problem we encountered trying to get out of Siena were millions of roundabouts. The first one we came to was on a hill so we needed the roundabout to be empty so we could enter it without stopping on the hill. That meant we had to do one u-turn after another illegally until we got our chance. For the next 500 roundabouts we would just scream at the top of our lungs and go for it because stopping or stalling out in the roundabout wasn't an option. I wish we had a camera in the car. It is funny now but traumatic all at the same time. Finally we made it to Rome's airport to drop off our car. I wasn't worried about filling up the tank just getting the thing turned in. The whole way to the airport was interstate and I had very detailed directions printed off so it went smoothly but then of course our return area had to be on the 4th floor of the garage. That is right, uphill! Between floor 2 and 3 we almost stalled out and risked a roll back collision but John got er done and made it in to the first available spot. I have never been so relieved in all my life. Goodbye tolls, gas, stick shifts, and my insides. I don't want to discourage anyone from renting a car in Italy. We loved the freedom, the countryside, and it was actually easy to navigate, just make sure you avoid busy cities and know how to drive a stick.