Revision to previous blog

So in my last blog I commented on how I am totally embracing the body I have now even though I am working on getting rid of the extra jiggle. As of yesterday evening at the mall I am no longer embracing my current body but hating it. Maybe I am being a little dramatic but it has been less than 24 hours since my horrible shopping experience. I have been looking at a lot of style websites in an attempt to get some ideas on how to be more stylish. I head to the mall since there was a big sale at the Limited and I am ready to walk out of there a fashionable lady. Instead I left with a t-shirt and sweater that are exactly like what I already own. I also left with less cash and self esteem than when I entered. (Everyone resist the need to tell me I am fine the way I am or don't feel bad or I go through the same thing) This blog is solely for my own sulking and self pity, don't try to steal my show but cheering me up or telling me that everyone feels that way. Sure I know shopping can be a trying experience for many women but that doesn't make you feel better when you are in the moment yourself. I stood there in the mirror as I tried on 50 different super cute items and kept telling myself that the mirror must be playing tricks on me. I felt like I was at one of those circus funny mirrors. Everything seemed distorted and mis-shapen. Clothes were clinging to my stomach and hips in ways I had never noticed before and then under the arms they would be like a parachute. I thought who are the people wearing these things. It didn't help that I never knew what size to get. Do I get the size I want to wear or the size that would fit better? I try to be realistic and get a little of both but any pants I tried on I wanted to set on fire right in the dressing room. Why does everything in the store have to be stretched to your body, can't we have some just loose fitting tops. Not even loose just not stretched tight, I could buy the extra large and I swear it fits the same as the small just with more stretch. I am sure the ladies that work in the store were annoyed that I made them put back like 40 things but I wanted to say how do you think I feel that none of it fit. I walked up to the counter with 3 items and said "I am such a failure" I am not even sure if I love what I got but I mainly got it because it fit. I have also declared many times that skinny jeans are not for me but for some reason I keep trying them on, maybe I enjoy self torture. In my depressed shopping state I went home and ate a snack, funny how feeling fat can make you want to eat a snack.
I would like to end this depressing blog by saying that I will be fine. No need to cheer me up. If I told you I have PMS right now would that explain a lot about this blog. I just wish losing weight was as easy as gaining it. But that is like saying I wish I didn't like donuts, some things just aren't reality. On a more positive note we are going to the Duck's game tonight and I am going out with some girls on Sat. I will wear my nice loose fitting dress that doesn't care how big my butt is.